The Marmite Mercenary, um, Missionary
After a week of waiting terribly impatiently, the time finally came to taste the mysterious new blend of Marmite XO. It was still sitting patiently in its box; I could almost hear it calling out to me to not wait for the others, to give in to temptation and try some. But no, I remained strong, resolute despite my rapidly waning willpower.
The first thing to consider was how to taste it. For some of my guests, this would be the first time that they had tried any kind of Marmite at all. It would be too much of a risk to just hand out spoons, I couldn’t bear the thought of wasting any if it transpired that they were haters. So with the encouragement of Rachel, and the knowledge that they were the perfect accompaniment to classic Marmite, I mixed up some pikelet batter and cooked them off after it had bubbled away for a few hours.
My guests began arriving at 7.30pm sharp, armed with many questions: “What exactly is Marmite?” “How do you normally eat it?” “Are you actually wearing a Marmite necklace?” (Yes I was.) “What on earth is a Marmart kit?” (For those who are unaware, a Marmart box is shaped like a giant bottle of squeezy Marmite and contains a table cloth, spreader and two toast templates.) I explained as best I could, but decided to let the XO speak for itself. A video of the tasting session can be seen here.
Fiona thinking about Marmite
To begin with, I read the Marmarati oath, which is as follows:
I hereby and hereon solemnly swear on celery, yeast extract, riboflavin and vitamin B12 to keep the following oath and agreement:
I promise to do my duty to my Head of State, Country and Marmite.
I swear to be faithful and bear true allegiance to the Marmarati.
I will defend the ebony elixir against all conspiracies, protect its distinctive flavour and honour its orb-like jar.
I will reject any second-rate pretenders.
I will never reveal and forever conceal any secrets, arts, parts or points, of the society of the Marmarati.
I promise to spread my dark and sticky mistress throughout the land, as well as on toast.
And finally I swear never, ever to consort with members of the Marmaladi.
Following my declaration, I passed around the XO-covered pikelets.
And the verdict? Absolutely worth the wait. It’s different, but not too different to not be Marmite. I think it has a stronger flavour, but without the bitterness of the original. As I expected, most of the tasters were not keen, but that just means more for me, which is great! My long-suffering, Marmite-hating partner said “I never thought I’d find something that I like less than normal Marmite.” At least it proves that the Master Blender responsible for this product hasn’t let the famous divisiveness slip!
All in all, I was very impressed and would recommend that when it hits the shops next month, Marmite lovers go and stock up, and the haters should at least try it!
Thanks to David for the use of his shiny new camera and Pascal for the mercenary/missionary title!
Having a happy post-XO moment
